生日/結婚紀念日

2010-03-03

 

又過生日了,37 歲,離 40 歲越來越近;縂認為 40 歲就是中年人了,確不覺得自己有那麼老。我會不會是那種 60 歲還穿著娃娃裝,綁著高馬尾的老甜甜??!

 

曾經,有雄心大志,預計 40 歲就要退休,賺夠多的 $$ 周遊列國。生命裡的兩個寶寶,把我從天上拉回人間,成了離世之日才是退休之日的老媽子。對 $$ 的野心,被對孩子的愛心取代。$$,夠用就好;陪孩子的時間,永遠不夠。

 

曾經,我什麼都怕。走路怕狗,在家怕蟑螂,獨處怕鬼怪,就是愛玩不怕死;滑雪、潛水、跳傘,追求一種全然的靜。有了寶寶,我為母則強,變得什麼都不怕。帶寶寶散步,眼帶殺氣的瞪著野狗,警告牠們不得靠近;看到蟑螂,用透明塑膠袋徒手活捉,讓寶寶當自然教學研究;晚上自己和寶寶在家,在黑暗裡默聲警告,是鬼是怪,離我家寶寶遠遠的;就是變得超怕死,每天都 paranoid 的擔心自己無法陪寶寶長大。

 

結婚六年,有了 Anakin,住在一起的兩個人,日子過得更像平行線。他下班回家 7:30 ~ 8:30,一回家就趕緊吃飯,飯桌上是和 Aaron 的聊天時間,聽他說學校、說睡覺做夢、說卡通看到的情節。吃飯要趕 8:30 ~ 9:30 Anakin 洗澡的時間。有時吃一半,他先幫 Anakin 洗澡,我在餐桌陪 AaronAnakin 洗完澡,換我去哄 Anakin 睡覺,他回餐桌陪 Aaron。吃完還有 Aaron 洗澡、睡前說故事。等兩個孩子睡了,我也跨了。半夜起來餵奶、擠奶時,他也睡了。早上起來,又是乒乒乓乓的準備 Aaron 上學,處理 Anakin 便便、吃奶。。。哎,然後就是這樣日復一日。 有時,會突然驚覺怎麼已經 56天沒說到話???!

 

難怪我少女愛做夢的年紀時,想像愛情只到婚禮那天。想像和親愛的人終成眷屬,想像有個完美婚禮,做最美的新娘。就像童話故事的結局 - and then they live happily ever after… The problem was fairytales never extended to the day after the wedding.  When the two lovebirds wake up to be husband and wife, how does the formula change between the two?  And when the little one comes, then what?  Fortunately, I did have a perfect wedding.  Fortunately, I never had any expectation of married life.  Fortunately, I never imaged how the boyfriend and girlfriend chemistry would change when they become husband and wife, then when they become daddy and mommy.  So, whatever happened was as good as it can be. 

 

I do, however, have dreams and imaginations of how we would be when we are grandpa and grandma, when the kids are all grown and out of the nest.  I do see in my mind of us two old people holding hands rocking our afternoons away.  So, the gap in between, I guess I will fill it with whatever God has planned for me.  Fortunately, roses seemed to have been part of God’s plan so far~

 

Happy 37th birthday, Judy.

Happy 6th anniversary, sweetie~



2010/03/12, Beautiful bouquet from my thoughtful hubby~


2010/03/12, Roses violet, pink and white


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